Great Expectations: the Fun Way

For school we have to read Great Expectations.

woohooooo~

 I read it in 7th grade and sort of skimped by, but now we have weekly notes and quizzes on the material. The teacher gives us short answer questions on these horrendously nitpicky details. Princess and Golden are really good at it, and Phan probably is too, but (if you haven't noticed already) I have focus issues. I read all the chapters and take notes - no really, I do - but I've been having the hardest time remembering the details about the characters and scenes and thus passing the quizzes.

So I did something I never thought I'd do - asked my mom for help.

At first she blabbed on a bit about taking detailed notes, re-reading the chapters, and just simply paying more attention. But she finally gave me something useful (surprise!) and said to picture things as they're happening.

Naturally I asked how she pictured the characters.

That just set her off. "Why don't we picture the characters as people you're familiar with - Pip can be one of those British One Direction boys - how about Louis?"

"Sure, mom." I rolled my eyes at this, not too interested yet, but slightly amused at the idea.

"Now we need a convict. He's a bit weird, isn't he? How about the Doctor? And River can be Estella." I remembered the long discussion I had with her in the car one day about who River was and why she was older than her parents and married to the Doctor.

We sat thinking for a while, and that was when I realized that this would make an excellent blog post.

Moving on. "We need someone creepy and crazy to be Miss Havisham." I quickly suggested Bellatrix. Evidently her actor is actually going to be playing Miss Havisham in the new adaption they're making. My mom agreed, but left me to 'work' *cough blog cough think about this*

By then, I'm grinning madly to myself at the thought of the convict (who happens to be Tennant, the Doctor I saw fitting) dragging along these handcuffs that are now made of wood and cursing himself for not ever putting on that damn wood setting. He starts screaming for a file at the first person who happens to walk by, being Pip (Louis wearing a hoodie like a cape). Pip runs home to Mrs. Joe (Umbridge) and then brings all the loot to a mad Doctor, who I'm beginning to picture more like Barty Crouch Jr.

We time skip to Miss Havisham's house. Personally, I have no idea how my mom correlated River with Estella but the thought of River seducing a One Direction boy is enough for me to work with. Really. Just think about it for a moment.

Then they walk up to the room, where Bellatrix is in a wedding gown and standing on top of the table, shouting to herself and knocking dishes all around the room. What's she's saying is intelligible but I'm guessing it's something among the lines of "I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK, I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK!"

And then Voldemort and the Master show up and the Doctor and the rest of One Direction pop in. Voldemort starts shooting spells, the Master does whatever the heck he does, the Doctor attempts to sonic Voldy's wand and screams because it's wooden, and One Direction sings "What Makes You Beautiful", causing Voldemort to commit suicide.

For future reference, mom, it is never a good idea to give me even more crazy ideas to work with. Especially since I'm in desperate need of doing actual work. 

Well seeing I'm probably going to be forbidden from the internets after I write about One Direction, Harry Potter, and Doctor Who on my next quiz, draw this scene in great detail on the back of the paper, and get sent to a psychiatrist, I'll catch ya in a few years :D

-Interrobangs, out-